The Purpose of Relationships
The purpose of all relationships is to reflect to all those involved in the relationship what they need to understand to become more of themselves. To accomplish this each individual in the relationship lives their highest joy and is the most fully expressed version of themselves that he or she can be and is completely excited for all others in the relationship to do the same. Living your highest joy and being excited for everyone else to live their highest joy is the way to have unconditionally loving healthy relationships. This means that you would never place any restrictions or conditions on another individual’s joy or self-expression.
Difference Between 3rd Density and 4th Density Relationships.
As a civilization we are shifting from our present 3rd Density (4th dimension) reality to 4th Density (5th dimension – click link to see more on densities vs dimensions). 4th Density relationships are not better than 3rd Density relationships, they are just different and each one is just as valid as the other. They provide very different experiences and if you choose 4th Density then it will be essential for you to integrate and transform your 3rd Density beliefs, because they will not work in 4th Density. You will not be able operate successfully in 4th Density if you attempt to hold onto 3rd Density beliefs.
4th Density is a very different paradigm and you have to really desire to experience it and be ready to let go of and integrate anything that is not in alignment with it in order to have it. Placing any conditions on others is not in alignment with 4th Density energy. Tying your love, your happiness, your identity, or self worth to another person or anything outside of you is 3rd Density energy based on separation.
If it is your desire and excitement to have traditional 3rd Density energetic relationships, it is of the utmost importance that you do so, because there must be something there that you need to learn from them. You have not played out what you set out to experience when you incarnated in this life. There is no hurry. Take a thousand lives if you need to. When you are complete and have experienced what you needed to experience then the desire to change will come up in you and you will seek out other types of relationships.
In the end all relationships lead to the realization that what you are looking for is found in reconnecting with your higher self. What you long for is to be whole again. That longing for love is the longing to be your whole true self. “You” are what you are looking for. Love is not in another person, it is in you. It always has been and always will be.
Qualities of 3rd Density Relationships
3rd Density is a reality based on separation from Source (All That Is, God), segregation from other people, and compartmentalization of yourself into different aspects.
- Communication is closed and keeping secrets from yourself and others is justified by the belief that it might hurt them.
- Compartmentalizing different parts of yourself and your relationships so one does not know what the other is doing is acceptable.
- You extend your love only if others meet your conditions.
- You demand that your expectations get met, exert control, manipulate situations, and prevent others from having outside relationships so you will feel safe, secure and not have to deal with your fears that you are worth less if they are with someone else.
- There is a lack of trust in synchronicity, and you do not believe that what is happening is meant to happen for the good of yourself and the whole.
Qualities of 4th Density Relationships
4th Density is based on connection to Source, integration with others, and reintegration of your personal identity that you have broken into different parts.
- Relationships are based on integration and expansion.
- Communication is fully open and completely honest with yourself and with others, because you know that all parties in the relationship are fully self empowered and excited to hear about and integrate any issues that are out of alignment and may be causing pain.
- Love is unconditional and not withheld to meet needs and conceal fears.
- Non-conformity, differences, and full self expression are celebrated. You are excited to discover who others truly are and want to experience their desires, gifts, and talents and see them being shared with others.
- Everyone in the relationship encourages each other to follow their highest excitement with no expectations, control, manipulation, or needs placed on them.
- You realize each moment is entirely new and you are open to what it brings, whatever that may be, including sexual expression when entered in a healthy way and by agreement with all involved. Have sex when it is your excitement and is for the purpose of upliftment, expansion, and there is full transparency, and no manipulation. See the section on sex for a full discussion.
Monogamy and Other Forms Of Relationships
The premise of Harmonious Earth, which also applies to relationships, is to be open to whatever shows up in each moment, trust that what is happening is meant to happen, and take action based on your highest excitement in that moment, and then do the same in every moment after that for the rest of your life.
If what happens in each new moment is the same person continues to show up and you continue to be attracted to be with that person over and over again until the end of your life, then you can say that you were “monogamous” with that person, but you would not know that until the end, because you would have been open to whatever happens with whoever shows up all along the way.
All forms of relationship are completely valid expressions and one form is in no way any better or worse than any other form of relationship. They are all just different expressions that produce different experiences. Resistance to the form of relationship that you are most attracted to would only cause pain. If you desire to be monogamous, polyamorous, or whatever, then it is important that you live out your beliefs about it and fully express that energy. You must honor the beliefs that you already have. Playing out the energy will teach you what you need to learn from it and if it is really what you prefer. The trick is to be honest about it and never suppress any emotions that come up for fear of losing the relationship. If discomfort or negative emotions arise, use the signals as alerts to find limiting beliefs and transform them into beliefs that are more aligned with who you truly are.
Purpose of Being “In A Relationship As A Couple”
The purpose of coupling is similar to the purpose of other relationships, with the addition of providing a more focused, intimate, and intense reflection that shows you in no uncertain terms the beliefs that are in alignment with your natural self and the beliefs that are not. Your emotions are the indicators that will let you know the difference. All pain is resistance to the natural self and when you feel it you know you are out of alignment.
Getting “into” a relationship creates a compartment with a specific focus that can bring out intense joy and love, and it can also bring out emotions that are painful, especially surrounding self-worth and jealousy, which are tied to core beliefs of separation. The purpose of relationships is to not only to reflect the positive, but also the negative beliefs that are the cause of pain. Once exposed, the beliefs that are out of alignment can be integrated and transformed resulting in more joy filled relationships.
What You Are Seeking In Relationships is Actually the Reconnection With Your Higher Self
3rd Density is a reality based on separation of self. Because lack and not being whole is the nature of the reality an intense drive arrises to fill the void and this void of not feeling whole is often filled by coupling with another individual. The attraction to find a mate is actually the desire to reconnect with the higher self which got cut off through the process of incarnating into a very densely focused reality. Coupling may ease the pull for a while, but it will never fully remove it, because it can’t. Nothing you will ever surround yourself with on the outside will fulfill you, because what you are looking for is found inside of you.
If you are open to it, relationships will eventually lead you to the realization that what you are really seeking is to couple with your higher self. Realizing that the void you feel is the disconnection from your higher self is one of the most joyous awakenings you can have, because you finally become aware that you have always had the love you desire right inside of you and you can stop looking for it in others outside of you. After having this realization you can be a whole person in your relationships and set them up to serve theirs and your highest joy with no restrictions or compartmentalization.
No Need To Place Conditions On Others
The purpose of relationships is to create reflections that expand you and help you be more of your true self. There is no need to put conditions or restraints on other people. The need for placing a condition on another person comes from a lack or limiting belief in you and has nothing to do with them. Controlling what another person does is a defence mechanism that used to cover up beliefs in you that you don’t want to look at, that are out of alignment with your true nature. The true infinite you is excited about everything others do and doesn’t need to control them. There is complete trust that what is happening needs to happen.
If you are working from an unhealthy set of relationship beliefs and your partner leaves you or acts out of accordance with your wishes, you may believe that they did it because you’re not enough. Everyone who is self-aware knows they are enough and does not need anyone to be or do anything for them to be all that they are. Allowing the law of attraction and repulsion to do its job without encumbering it with limiting definitions and it will create a natural flow of beautiful relationships that are perfectly tailored for you.
All Relationships Are With Yourself
The relationships you are having are with yourself. What appears to be interaction with others is actually the reflection of your own projected energy. From the perspective that you are consciousness, you understand that everything is happening within you, within your consciousness. All relationships that appear to be outside of you are actually all taking place within you. You are “all” the players on the stage. Understanding this is essential to having healthy relationships.
“Unconditionally loving healthy relationships are achieved by living your highest joy and being excited for everyone else to live their highest joy.”
What you put out you get back. What wants to come to you is doing its utmost to come to you and what wants to get away from you is doing its utmost to leave you. All you have to do is let come what wants to come and let go what wants to leave. Trust in this one simple law alleviates all issues with relationships. Being clear about not needing a relationship to be more than what it is and allowing it to come and go naturally will attract in perfect timing who needs to be in relationship with you and repel who doesn’t. Your job is to express yourself as fully as you can so your energy will be clearly put out and understood, and will attract you to whom you need to be in relationship with for the length of time it needs to last.
You Are Not Responsible “For” Others — You Are Responsible “To” Others
You are not responsible “for” anyone else. Each person is responsible for themselves. You are responsible “to” everyone else. Being responsible to others means that you are the most fully expressed version of you that you can be and this is also your purpose in life as well. Being your authentic self is the way to offer the most “help” that you could offer. You are leading by example, while at the same time allowing them to be free to choose their own path.
Every being is their own complete reality creating their own holographic universe. They are completely sovereign, free, and self empowered to be whatever they choose to be. They exist, they are the One and the All, what they put out they get back, and they constantly change. They would not be able to have the experience they are having if this was not true.
You might ask, “How are victimized children creating there own reality?” The answer is that they have chosen to have that experience from a higher dimension of themselves, which is the same answer for, “How is alien abduction justified?” From our Earthly perspective it appears there is no choice, which is true from that particular perspective, but a higher part of their consciousness, which you could call their oversoul, has orchestrated the experience and clearly knows what it is doing. It knew what was going to happen and the choice it made serves its overall purpose and plan or it would not be happening.
We are all one human family. On a Harmonious Earth the distinction of only certain people being your family is expanded to the entire human race being your family. As individuals of one family you move about and interacting with other family members with the awareness that everyone is really you… and you do for them what you would do for yourself or your dearest loved one. Everyone treats everyone with unconditional love.
Everyone is your friend, your son, your daughter, your brother, your sister, your mother, your father, your wife, and your husband. All are treated with kindness, gentleness, loving support, and respect. Everyone lives their joy and has fun doing it.
What makes you a part of a Harmonious Earth family is your energetic frequency being in alignment with the other individuals of the group and the values that everyone in the group holds in common. If you are not in alignment with the frequency of the group then you are not a part of it. If you are tuned into another channel you will not be able to see the channel the group is on. It is all about frequency and being tuned into the same channel as the group. The group is not about everyone being the same, but everyone expressing their individuality in unity which creates a beautiful symphony. It’s a perfect balance of unification and individuality.
Even though individuals are born male or female there is no need to limit oneself to the masculine or feminine energies connected to that body type. Allow yourself to embody and utilize masculine and feminine energies in whatever way you choose in the moment and that goes for all archetypal energies. All archetypal categories are just different perspectives or energies that every person embodies and can use at anytime.
The idea is to realize that not only are you all archetypes, you are all the people and everything else in your reality… You are your reality. There is no reality except what you define it to be. So let go, expand and define yourself to be what you prefer in that moment and whatever is relevant in the next.
By: Kirk Nielsen